Blog Archives

Expectations are dangerous

Hey everyone,

Here we go again. I think this one might be easy to agree with. Expectations and their more dangerous nature is a well covered topic. It is easy to find any number of publications covering the subject. However, why are expectations so dangerous?

Most will argue that high expectations set you up for disappointment. So many people find the fear of disappointment so suffocating that they set the bar very low to avoid it. In truth the danger is setting your expectations too low not too high.

Disappointment is a good thing, which I covered in a blog a couple of weeks ago so if you missed that you can checkout the link here: https://christopherjhillger.com/2019/06/06/disappointment-is-always-a-good-thing/

When your expectations are low, they are easily met, and on top of that you build the wrong mindset. I had this issue not long ago when I launched my third book. Due to a number of perceived problems with my previous advertising, the delays the book received, and difficulty in getting noticed in the crowded market I set my expectations rock bottom. This hurt my book’s launch since I put less effort since my expectations were low. Low expectations hurt my audience since word didn’t reach them as quickly that the book was launched. Finally it hurt myself, putting my self esteem low (which most people convince themselves is why to set the expectations low in the first place).

Had I kept shooting as high as I could imagine perhaps growth would occur when I kept leaping for it. You see, if the bar is low you won’t get far. If the goal is set high, you will probably not get there, but you’re likely to get farther than where you get when the goal is easy to achieve. If you set the expectations low, you don’t grow.

Growing is painful. It’s a fact of life. Do you remember growing pains when you were young? My oldest son complains about them nearly every day. When you face disappointment it hurts, but you learn from failure, and learning is how you grow to improve it for next time.

So set your sights high, and you might be surprised by where you land.

Until next time, may God bless you and keep you.

Disappointment is always a good thing

Hey everyone,

Ever been disappointed with something or someone? You more than likely have, so have I.

For whatever reason somethings just never seem to live up to our expectations. Sometimes that causes us to lower our standards, sometimes it means voicing concern about the thing or person. Whatever you have been disappointed by in life so far, remember that disappointment is a good thing.

Ok, you’ve lost me you crazy guy. What do you mean disappointment is a good thing? It never feels good to be disappointed.

Well no, it rarely feels good to be disappointed; but that does not mean that it isn’t a good emotion to have. In fact it is a great emotion to have, about things and especially people. Ok, before you go off the deep end, let me explain.

What does it mean to be disappointed? Well, it means something or someone didn’t live up to your standards or to what you expected. Expectations and standards are things we rarely place on anything that we do not value.

You know that sports team you barely remember the name of? Oh hey, they won their last game. Do you care? No. Why not? Because you don’t place any value in them (not to say that their is no value in them, only that they don’t mean anything to you).

Your parents however are likely a different story. Whether your parent’s live up to your expectations or not, there is likely some disappointment with them your remember from growing up. Does that mean your parent’s are the worst in the world? No, and even if they are, the presence of disappointment means you place value in them, even if they weren’t the greatest.

I have been very blessed to have had such supportive parents growing up, not everyone does. But pretty much everyone has had a parent or guardian that was disappointed in them during their life (possibly they still are). This isn’t a bad thing, in fact it is the opposite. You see, the presence of disappointment means that you have value to them, that they love you.

Whether it is a person (like family, or friends), or a thing (like a favorite movie series) disappointment means that there were standards to begin with. You don’t place standards on things you do not care about, and as such a lack of disappointment in your life probably means you don’t value very many things.

Disappointment is good, and leads to you having strong emotions about that person or thing. Just remember to try and put a more constructive spin on your feedback, just like God puts in his disappointment with us. Humanity fails, on repeat, but God is always trying to give us advice in how to live our lives. He doesn’t give us some checklist, but actual feedback and purpose to our mistakes.

Until next time! May God bless you and keep you.